May 21, 2010

Day 128 - Attend Someone Else's Graduation

Date: March 14th, 2010

I'm an only child.  At times that is a lot of hilarious fun and at times it can be pretty lonely.  One thing that I never thought about, though, was the whole graduation situation.  My whole life, graduations were for me.  I had a kindergarten graduation when I was five.  My classmates and I were painfully adorable.  The next graduation was at Phoenix Academy.  They liked to, you know, celebrate our accomplishments and whatever.  I have a drawer full of pins declaring me good at History and Spanish.  I got an ethics pin once.  Once.

High school was bigger.  Family flew in from out of town.  We had a party.  A party I left early for my last speech competition, but a party nonetheless.  Then there was college.  It was another family affair.  A large contingent of my extended family showed up for the graduation, which was in Michigan in December.  I think it goes without saying that a blizzard was braved.  I shoveled my own driveway on my graduation day.  Hilarity ensued.

There's a reason that whole first part was about me.  I wanted to give y'all a sense of how I viewed graduations until recently.  Being an only child, I never thought about it much, but they always seemed like celebrations for me.  I never had a sense of what it was like to be the proud family member of a graduate.  I hadn't sat in on any graduations of friends either.  I love my friends, but there are only so many tickets to Big House graduations so I stepped aside and, ya know, finished packing up my dorm room instead.

For the last three years, things have been a little different.  I started to understand what its like to openly and comfortably brag about a family member.  Don't get me wrong, I was pretty proud of how my parents did in their careers, but that wasn't something I could really brag about.  Talking about how good mommy and daddy are at business, well, it kind of makes you look like an ass.  Just saying.  But three years ago, my mom decided to go to law school.

Law school is easier to talk about.  Especially to law students.  Law school is three years of hazing disguised as legal training.  They break you down and build you back up differently - they teach you how to think like a lawyer instead of a layperson.  It is a test of fire that everyone whose done it understands.  Just saying "my mom is in law school at Michigan State" is enough to make people understand.  Its also something that I've grown increasingly proud of, as a member of her family.


I watched her struggle during 1L, adjust to the new way you have to think, thrive during 2L, make great stride's at MSU's Tax Clinic, and get that all-too-familiar senioritis feeling during 3L.  I stood next to someone I love dearly and watched her succeed.  Unlike my graduations, where I got to stop and enjoy a day being about all about me, I stopped and enjoyed a day being all about my mom.

Pictured: Source of daughterly pride.

The most surreal part was seeing all the exact same pomp and circumstance I was used to at graduation, but from the sidelines.  There were grads in robes hugging the families.  There were graduation programs with all the names of the proud scholars.  There was absolutely no parking.  You know, a graduation.  I also got to see my mom walking with her friends of law school.  Just like all the times I remember, the graduate finds people she's been close to over the years to talk to and walk with on the big day.

They're like totes besties, guys.  Totes besties.

The ceremony was touching and beautiful.  There were two parts in particular that were fantastic.  The student speaker was amazingly touching.  Despite being at a rival school, I found myself rooting heartily for all the MSU grads, not just my mom.  Their student speaker brought me to tears when she talked about the admissions office there holding her seat for five years because, as a marine, she was deployed over seas.  Not once, she said, did the require her to put down her seat deposit.  They just... held the seat.  At the ceremony, she presented the school with a $1000 donation.  Why $1000?  It was her $200 seat deposit for each year they held her seat for her.

I found myself not just proud of my mom, but proud to be able to say she had gone to such an amazing school with amazing values.  I found myself wondering more about what kind of experience she had and happily hoping that it was as enriching as their speaker made it sound.  So that's what graduations are like from the sidelines.  Filled with hope and promise, not for yourself, but for someone you care about.  What a lovely feeling.  It was, of course, absolutely mandatory that I get a video of my mom walking the stage to get her degree.  Having only managed to get seats in the nosebleeds, its more of an audio recording, but the point remains.



In many ways it was a perfect day.  We got there with plenty of time, my mom's family had come into town and was there to support her, the ceremony was beautiful and the weather was amazing.  In the afternoon, we headed up to the lake to relax and bask in mom's accomplishment.  It was utterly lovely.  There was only one thing wrong that day.

The dang stairs were closed.


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