There are certain things that people should just know how to do. For the most part, this includes things like doing your taxes, getting a passport, shopping for groceries, gassing up a car and other boring as heck mundane activities. For some people, such as myself, I feel like there are subsets of knowledge that should also be required. I feel like the list of things I should just know also includes such gems as: writing a proper brief for the court, using LexisNexis without suffering from a brain aneurysm, making quilted socks, and, of course, mercenary spelunking. Another on the fabled list of things I should know how to do is take a fingerprint. I love the idea of fingerprints. They're your body's little witness to all the things you shouldn't have done. Its like your own skin oils ratting you out for the crime. That's betrayal right there, kids.
It was to my great person fortune that I met the incomparable Kari Brown a few years back, that we became friends and that she made absolutely sure that my Day 100 was amazing. That was a good thing for many reasons, but I found yet another on Tuesday as I prepared to crash after a day of cramming. On Tuesday, I was right in the middle of my finals period and so tired from spending all day going over my notes again and again that I almost forget to do something new. I know, your disappointment is palpable.
As I was about to crash, I realized that no part of my day included an amazing life lesson. Well, ok, I relearned the lessons of Lemon v. Kurtzman, but that was far from amazing. Let's not kid ourselves. I decided, given the time of night, that I should do something on my "things I should know how to do by now". I looked around my house, grabbed a book that has been a godsend and flipped through it, but nothing looked interesting. That's when I found the CSI Kit that I picked up from the cache that Kari and I found.
See. I used to think that taking fingerprints would be really easy. But then I saw Lawrence Fishburne struggle with it on the real CSI. Since, of course, CSI is an entirely accurate representation of the ease and difficulty of processing a crime scene, I realized that it must be harder than I thought.
And the instructions were incredibly complex. All four of them.
There was some finesse to it, to be sure, but it was actually pretty straightforward. I'm not saying processing a crime scene is easy. I'm just saying that taking fingerprints is probably, like, level one kind of stuff. I chose to use a small, metal tin that I keep on my desk as a mockery of higher education. Partly for the irony, but mostly because the flat metal surface seemed like a good place to practice taking prints. I decisively pressed my thumb on the top of the box and made sure I'd left a clear print for myself.
The rest of the process was pretty darn simple. Lightly sprinkle the powder, then use this cute little plastic blower thing to spread it across the print without wiping it away. Then use tape to life the print off the surface. I skipped that part. I decided to leave the print on the box as a souvenir for myself.
And to serve as proof of my focus on criminal law.
Taking the print reminded me of how fascinated I've always been with criminal forensics. There is science behind them, obviously, but there is an art to it as well. Taking the print wasn't really hard, because I was careful. But there were plenty of ways to mess it up. Use to much powder, blow too hard, press the tape down too forcefully. I mean, getting a good print is a lot harder than just getting a print. There is a lot to respect about the amount of training that is required for a crime scene tech to do their job properly. Their conclusions determine if the guilty are punished and if the innocent are set free. As someone who will (assuming I get hired, of course) prosecute and defend people on criminal charges, I'm excited to work with crime scene techs and see how their come to their conclusions firsthand.
I assume, given the perfect, precise accuracy of CSI, that there will be many witty exchanges with young, exuberant, inappropriately attractive, crime scene techs in my future. Huzzah!
No comments :
Post a Comment