I've never been what you'd call a film connoisseur. My favorite movie is Eurotrip and I prize that film not for its cinematic brilliance so much as its hilarious consistency. It is funny. It doesn't pretend to be a gift to the world of comedy - it just... does funny things. If you're not easily grossed out, I would highly recommend it. In the meantime, the only time I've ever even seen someone understand artsy films was the time my mother watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind while accidentally high. To be fair to her, who knew anti-smoking medicine and cough medicine could make you hear the ocean?
With all that stipulated, I decided the world of film could benefit from my years of movie watching experience. As Julia Everywoman, clearly I would bring a new and fresh perspective to the highly competitive art film market. That market has been on display for the last week (as it is every year) at the Ann Arbor Film Festival. In years past, the festival featured films you couldn't see anywhere else and provocative, politically-oriented poster art (read: lots of nudity).
Apparently shapes are provocative now.
I dragged (yes dragged) Justin along to one of the Saturday afternoon showings of short films. The program we went to was called "All That Lies Between Us". I found myself disappointed at how many seats were between me and the door. Now, before I get into my sarcastic "now I remember why I think arty films are flaky" rundown of the show, I should point out a couple things. The first is that there was one utterly fantastic movie in the bunch. But I'll get to that later. The second thing is that I love love love the ambiance at the Michigan Theater. Justin hadn't been before, which was really a travesty of epic proportions. The architecture alone is breathtaking. I saw Psycho (the original) there in September of my freshman year and I have adored that theater ever since. They even had an organist playing tunes from Guys and Dolls while we were waiting for the show to begin. Seriously.
Pictured: Serious freakin' ambiance.
Though we were both wowwed by the theater (me for the 87th time and Justin for the 1st time), but midway through the second movie I was mouthing apologies under my breath and promising to pay for dinner. The first movie was a five minute long ode to camera angles called "Garden Roll Bounce Parking Lot". What an interesting and creative title, you might say? Well, not quite. It was a movie about a garden where the plants were hung up with film from a 35mm version of the movie Roll Bounce. That garden was later turned into a parking lot. That's right. The title of the film gave away the whole "plot". Garden. Roll Bounce. Parking Lot. And........ Scene!
The second movie was three minutes of watching an older Parisian couple position a camera, laugh and smile at each other and take dentures in and out. It was a significant improvement from the first film for two reasons. It was shorter. And, to be honest, the couple was somewhat endearing. What it lacked in overbearing statements tending to induce a sense of purpose was completely made up for in the next film. "Notes on the Other" started out fantastic. The filmmaker explained that Ernest Hemingway had seen the world through the eyes of people who experienced things he had only witnessed and juxtaposed that with footage of the Ernest Hemingway look-a-like contest, held every year in Florida. Sounds really interesting, right? Well, have you ever been having a discussion with someone and they seemed to believe that their point was so intensely interesting and insightful that instead of letting you come to it on your own, they slapped you repeatedly in the metaphorical face with it? Yeah. That was "Notes on the Other" in a nutshell.
Two others, Rihla and The Use of Movement, were both so insanely and purposely confusing that they don't warrant comment, in my opinion. Except that I would like to point out that The Use of Movement contained very little footage of, you know, movement. And it is, apparently, the third in a series of films focusing on the same concept. The filmmaker used English, German, Spanish and French language in the film to try and break people out of their "anglocentric worldviews". I'm not kidding. He used the flagship languages of the most imperialistic, historically pro-anglo-everything countries in the world to break us out of that shell. So... ya know... that was fun.
I was going to mock the last movie, April Day and Night, as well. But then the filmmaker went up on stage (with the others) and took questions. He explained that the film was a composite of notes he had put together after his actual work was stolen along with his laptop. The amount of sheer chutzpah it took to stand up next to people who fancy themselves our generations newest savants and admit that his movie, which was accepted for show and competition, was just stuff that survived a robbery... well... that guys a badass. Just saying.
Now, I saved the best for last. Right in the middle of the program was a gem. It was unique, subtle, amusing and relevant. It didn't try too hard and it didn't take itself too seriously. The movie was called Coffee Futures. Set mostly in Turkey, the filmmaker showed footage of her getting her fortune told and footage of Turkey's attempts to join the European economic community. Her personal struggles to find love and connection almost perfectly mirrored Turkey's attempts to get with Europe, you know, economically. It was also incredibly interesting to see the fortune telling method. Both men and women took turns looking at the way coffee grindings stuck to the bottom of a cup after the coffee was finished and the cup turned over in a ritualistic way. The filmmaker was able to show an aspect of Turkish culture that is relatively unknown in the western world, make it accessible and use it as a metaphor for Turkish economic desires.
It was also the only film in the bunch that didn't adopt the single most annoying movie trick employed by arty film school types. You'll know it when you picture it -- its the slightly moving camera shot, held on a single, sedentary object. Then, the light or music will change slightly, theoretically giving your still-life-art-shot some sort of deep emotional bond with the audience. No. Sorry. I'm sure you felt that shot deep in your soul, but that apple did not turn into a statement on global warming. It stayed an apple.
I didn't get to voice these opinions (ie: vent) in any serious detail on the comment card and voting sheet that I, as an audience member, got to fill out and turn in. I did, however, get to rate the movies on a scale of one to five. Guess which movies got ones? I'll give you five guesses. Don't misunderstand my sarcasm though. While I mock the movies and am reminded that me and arty-stuff don't usually mix - I enjoyed myself greatly. I got to see unintentionally hilarious short films with a great friend in an amazingly beautiful theater. Then we went to Dominick's and I bought him dinner. Because of Garden Roll Bounce Parking Lot. That, in an of itself, was enough to earn him a free meal.
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