Among the many things I initially hesitate to do is building a sculpture and entering it into a contest. There's something about having to make an object that is both artistic and structurally sound that makes the two sides of my brain get into a knife fight. Seriously. Last time I tried, my sculpture collapsed, leaving nothing to enter the contest with. I decided it was time to face up to the personal, life-altering tragedy that was trying to sculpt by entering a contest I found online. The theme was "Dreaming of a Greener World" so... ya know... y'all should recycle and junk.
The part that made it appealing to me was that it was billed as being part of a workshop. So, I figured I could make my perfectly structurally sound sculpture and enter it, then pretend the contest was rigged when I realized I'd forgotten to be artistic. The set up, it would seem, made it a lot easier to be in denial about the sculpture situation than it collapsing in front of me. For kicks (and cause they're awesome) I brought Justin and Dawn to build it with me.
Now, don't get me wrong - I loved the contest. It was one of the best days so far. That being said. Calling it a sculpture contest with a workshop was some serious false advertising. The "sculptures" had to fit inside large paper boxes. If that doesn't sound like a sculpture, that's because its not. Its a diorama. Now, to be fair, I've never really done that either. In 8th grade my dad helped me build the most insane "Latin House" for Latin class that was ever created.... but I'm talking about the traditional, in the box, Elmer's and felt-tip markers kind of diorama. (The house my dad built was too awesome to be labeled a mere "diorama"... what does that word even mean? It sounds gross.
Pictured: Not a sculpture.
Now that that's out of my system, let's talk about the contest. It was awesome. We were given two hours to design a diorama based on our "Dream of a Greener World" (it was sponsored by a recycled materials company and Whole Foods - what were you expecting?). Coming up with our design concept was honestly the hardest part. We spent almost 30 minutes trying to come up with ideas before we realized that we were probably overthinking it and gosh if we only had a five year old we'd have a great idea right off. We settled on an idea based around television thanks to two finds in the bins - one by Justin and the other by Dawn.
Justin found what would become the nobs on the TV and Dawn found what would become antennae toppers/power receivers. Then we got our butts back to the workshop (workshop meaning place, rather than session... that one's my mistake) and got to work. Dawn built the antennae, Justin made the trees and I made the TV front. Then we put it all together into what can only be described as the greatest masterpiece in the history of art. The Sistine Chapel? Glorified graffiti. Mona Lisa? She's an uggo. Michelangelo's David? Well, he's ok. He's pretty buff. But still. The point remains.
Yeah, yeah, cry more. Baby.
There were definitely a few challenges. Like safety scissors and delicious delicious Elmer's glue. Mostly it was a wonderful experience. We got to hang out and chat while we built our "sculpture" and when it came together, we all really liked it. A lot of the other boxes had a lot going on. I liked the other sculptures a lot - really I did - but at the end of the day, I really enjoyed the simplicity of ours. It got the point across quite well.
Pictured: Intense contemplation of serious matters.
We only barely got it done by the end of the time allotted. That being said - it was the same situation with everybody else. The part that I spent the most time was the structure under the ground inside the box. That took a lot of time, a lot of glue and a couple burnt fingertips to get done (hot glue gun wins the prize). Justin's trees looked great - which says a lot cause, well, carpet samples cut with safety scissors, that's a recipe for disaster. As for Dawn's antennae - it made the piece. Initially we had some trouble figuring out how to stay inside the box and have the antennae, but it wouldn't have been good without it.
Reality TV
The final concept was for a TV that controls reality -- we could just turn the dials to make the world cleaner and greener. Now, before you dismiss it as impractical, realize that we were competing against firefly streetlamps. I mean, how are you going to feed them? And you'll have PETA all up on your junk about insect cruelty or something. Just saying.
The contest was a delightful good time. Starting March 22nd, there will be online voting for the best diorama. It goes without saying that y'all should totally vote for ours to win. Because, ya know, its a masterpiece and all. Besides... how can you say no to these faces?
So adorable.
Passable.
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