Date: July 17th, 2010
July 16th, 2010 would've been Devin Gaines' 26th birthday. Three years ago, about a week before his 23rd birthday, he passed away. I know that there are a lot of people in the world who his death had a profound effect on and that there are lots of people who were closer to him at the time than I was. Despite having drifted apart from him since high school, I remember him each year on his birthday because of the profound impact he had on my life.
When I lived in Connecticut, I was incredibly socially awkward. I sought the kind of friendships I have now, at 25, from 8th and 9th graders. That didn't work in the least, for the same reason I wouldn't go become best friends with a fourteen-year-old right now. Devin, on the other hand, had the kind of old soul that I could connect with. More than that, he was always moving. No matter what the task, no matter what the club, no matter how tired he was - he was always doing something. I admired that about him.
When I got into 9th grade, I found myself wishing desperately for someone to connect with. Devin was that person for me. I spent almost every day talking to him, laughing and joking, studying and planning. I felt completely out of my element, but for the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed it. He taught me the importance of not living in a bubble. He taught me to be accepting of people who are different, not because he had differences from me, but because of the way he talked about people in general. To listen to him was to respect him. He was witty, deep, hilarious, goofy, brilliant and a little bit naughty. OK. A lot naughty. And for a prudish 9th grader, it was just the right kind of friend to have.
In the course of my yearly remembrance, I realized that Devin now has a Wikipedia page. His accomplishments are deeply impressive - they warrant the kind of lasting recognition that a Wikipedia page indicates. I know that it is a small honor, but it felt good, as someone who's life he altered so completely, to see that he is seen as unusually smart, talented and worthy.
Then I noticed that some information was missing. For one, the page had his birthday wrong. More noticeably for me, there was no mention of his time at King Low Heywood Thomas, where I met him. So I spent the day drafting a couple edits. While I know its "just Wikipedia", I still decided to sleep on it before posting anything. I didn't feel right just tapping into and editing his page without really thinking about what I'd put. So, the next day, I went back and corrected his birthday and posted my edits.
Its such an incredibly tiny tiny thing, but it didn't seem right that his page not have his full and proper birthday posted. As for me, after a year of getting to know Devin and finding someone with whom I could truly connect, I was approached by my parents about moving to California. Ironically enough, the thing that I am so thankful to him for giving me is the same thing that sent me a world away from him. Courage. After knowing Devin, confiding in him and seeing him live every day, I felt no fear at the idea of getting on a plane and embarking on a new adventure. I credit him personally with the fulfillment I got from the last half of high school, the joyful exuberance of college and the drive that got me into law school.
So, Devin, if you can see this... Happy Belated Birthday from someone who's life is a million times better because of you. Thank you.
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