Corn mazes are, apparently, some sort of midwest staple. I didn't realize that until the corn got up higher than my eyebrows and suddenly every country road had sprouted a sign advertising one. I decided that absolutely had to be on the thing of the day list so as soon as the weather got crisp enough (cause it just doesn't seem right to have a muggy corn maze experience), Justin and I headed out to the nearest good sized one and started wandering around.
The maze we went to had three options. There was the no map option. We waived that because, well, I was getting a few too many eerie "three hour tour" vibes from the idea of wandering around a corn maze without a map. The second option was to buy a map and try to make it through without opening it. If we'd brought the map back unopened, we'd have gotten a refund. Needless to say, we went with option three. Also known as, how in good golly are we going to get out of here?
The nice thing was that the map had checkpoints and since we hit all of them, we were entered into a prize drawing for $100. The less nice thing is that I'm pretty sure I'd have heard back by now if we won.
I was shocked at how difficult the corn maze was. I mean, its a maze. Its the thing on the back of the kid's menu that people occupy themselves with while waiting for food at Denny's. Its just... bigger. And corn.
There are napkins that can do your job.
Justin and I got lost a bunch of times before breaking out the map and actually following directions. It was a fantastic adventure though. At the end of the day, I completely understand why corn mazes are a thing here. It was fun, it was simple, it was cheap, it was good exercise and, for me, it was particularly nice to do something quintessentially American that had been on my bucket list for quite some time. What can I say? I'm seriously into kitsch.
...I may have found my soulmate...
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