Date: January 9th, 2010
My little experiment has progressed very unusually so far. In three days, without meaning to, I've managed to have three categorically different experiences. What I mean is this:
- On the first day I helped bake a cake. Though I'd never done it before there was something deeply familiar about it. I was with wonderful people, in a homey environment, doing something that families have done together for centuries. The great benefit of that experience was not its newness, but its surprising familiarity.
- On the second day I rode a mechanical bull. Rather than seeming oddly familiar (which I suppose is a good thing), it was one of the farthest things from my comfort zone that I've ever done. By the same token - it was fun. There was not some great personal awakening I got on the back of a mechanical bull in a smoke-filled bar in Ann Arbor. It was just... fun.
Today was something altogether different from both of my previous experiences. In part out of an indulgence of curiosity and in part because I thought it would be funny, I went to a numerologist and had my numbers charted. Rather than having a giggle when I was done, I found myself genuinely considering the possibility that there was some important insight to gain from the woman I talked to.
This is going to be a particularly long entry so I'm hiding the rest of it. You know you want to read on.
I made an appointment in the morning to get my numbers done. On the phone she asked three questions. What is my birth date? What time was I born? What is the full name on my birth certificate? There was a reason for each question. The birth date (January 7th, 1985) question was asked for obvious reasons - it is the basis for the rest of the number calculations she would do. My birth time didn't have as much significance as I assumed it would. I mean, it has numbers in it, right? In actuality, it was just to help her make a determination about how strongly rooted I was in the number produced by my birth date. If I was born before sunrise or after sunset, there would be some blending with January 6th or 8th.
Last, but not least, she asked for the full name on my birth certificate (Kristen Louise DCamp). She explained that it was important to use the name on the birth certificate because that represents the universe's original plan for me. If I chose, later, to change my name, that does not have an effect on my numbers. I found that thought interesting. There was something fatalistic about the idea that once we take control of our lives we lose some of our connection to the spiritual world.
That thought resonated with me quite a bit. It is a common concept in most major religions, including my own. It is widely held in the Christian faith that we have to put things in God's hands and that they will work out the way He intends. The numerologist's beliefs about the spiritual world were, in many ways, very similar to Christianity (minus Jesus... though that's a pretty big minus). She explained that the universe has a higher purpose for both humanity and for individual people. She talked about fate, destiny and what people are "supposed" to do with their lives. She also pointed out that free will plays a major role in what people end up doing with their lives. The dichotomy struck me as almost exactly the same, spiritually, as the one found in Christianity. There is a reason we have bumper stickers that say "Let go and let God". We have them because people are choosing not to do that. The dual concepts of fate and free will have permeated religion and spirituality since the beginning of time (even before people had words to describe those ideas).
As for me specifically; here are my numbers:
- My life number is 4. That was found using my birthday. It defines, generally, what I am meant to do and be on this earth. It describes my higher, spiritual purpose and what gifts I am supposed to use to accomplish that purpose.
- My destiny is defined by the numbers 88, 16 and 7. Notice that 88 reduces to 16 and 16 reduces to 7. That is important. The number was found by adding up the numerological values of the letters in my full name. My destiny number talks more specifically about what I am supposed to do with my life. It narrows the path vaguely described by my life number into something more understandable.
- My soul is defined by the numbers 11 and 2. Again, 11 reduces to 2. This one was found by adding up the values of the vowels in my name. It talks about both my soul and my subconscious. This aspect of the reading is hard to describe. It was more about who I am at my core than about what I am supposed to do or be in my life. I think that's the best way to describe it.
- My personality is defined by the numbers 50 and 5. They were found by adding up just the consonants in my name. I thought it was interesting that the number which is meant to define my inner person was found using the vowels of my name and the outer person (the cover to my book) was found using the consonants. Think about it. Vowels are essential. They are the heart and soul of words - and there are only a few of them to go around. Those few letters become the more valuable part of the alphabet. Consonants, on the other hand, though necessary, are a dime a dozen. Whole sentences, whole paragraphs, whole pages can go without using a particular consonant. They are the flash and color of the language while vowels are the heart. So outward personality is found using consonants.
Look at destiny too. It is found using all the letters. Only by looking at the inner person and the outward personality can someone get a good sense of what that person will actually do in their life. I just think it is an interesting system.
- Last, but not least, there is sort of an adult destiny number. It describes where I'm going to be and what I'm going to be doing and accomplishing when I'm 30+ years old. That is found by putting together the numbers from my birthday and the numbers from my name. In other words - mix time and the path to find out where it leads. That number, 88 + 31, lead to 119, which led to 11, which led to 2.
So those are my numbers, but what the heck do they mean? Well that's why the appointment lasts an hour, isn't it? Having a life number of 4 symbolizes a lot of things. The number four represents the four sides of the square. It indicates a life that is grounded and seeks justice, order and balance. People with a life number of four are supposed to be analytical, logical, organized and structured people. They are drawn to justice and balance and they generally task themselves with bringing harmony to disharmonious situations. Before knowing what I planned on doing with my life, she pointed out that people with a life number of four are commonly drawn to the law, justice and making things right that were previously wrong. They want to open up channels between people and build bridges. Fours, she noted, are often very good at public speaking and passionate about making the material world a better place.
Numerology uses the terms "material" world and "spiritual" world differently than Christianity. In Christianity we are supposed to stand apart from the material world to answer a higher calling. The concepts behind numerology note the distinction between material and spiritual, but they don't make a focus on materiality out to have a negative connotation. For example, in my reading she noted that my life number indicated that I should devote myself to making the material world a better place. The advice is the same as I get at church, just using different words. In both cases, for example, feeding the hungry would be a good thing and using charity money to buy a big screen TV would be a bad thing. I thought I should note the distinction because she talked about material vs. spiritual a lot during the reading.
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The next thing she talked to me about was my destiny numbers. She noted that it was somewhat unusual for someone to have two "major" numbers. The 88 and the 16 are both considered major numbers, whereas the 7, that it all boiled down to, is the minor number. She said it was more common for people to have one major number and one minor number. The extra major numbers throughout my reading, she said, indicated the presence of an old soul. Meaning, essentially, that my soul has been around the block a couple times and knows what's up. That's a good thing and a bad thing, according to her.
But, here are what the numbers mean. The 88 represents infinity, boundaries, and a connection between the spiritual and material worlds. The design of the eight is continuous - it cannot be broken or penetrated (boundaries). It goes on forever (infinity) and it binds the top to the bottom (spiritual/material connection). To her, that showed that I need boundaries to function, even if they are self-imposed. It means that I have strength and wisdom. Specifically for what I am supposed to do in my self, she said it shows that one of my higher purposes is to "wake people up" to the spiritual world. Having a number that strongly indicates the spiritual/material connection is where she got that from.
The 88 and the presence of major numbers, combined with having the number 4 as my life number, adds up to something very interesting and important. I will say, when she told me this was when I made more of an attempt to open my mind and take as much insight from the experience as possible. That specific combination - being grounded and logical, having boundaries and being an old soul - adds up to a life highly dependent on karma. In other words, if I do something "bad", I get what's coming to me and fast. If I do something good, I get rewarded quickly and noticeably. Being an old soul is what makes those lessons and rewards come quickly. The universe is essentially saying "you've been around a while, you should know better". Whereas someone with a young soul is a lot less likely to face an immediate consequence.
The other practical consequence of this - I don't have "luck". There are some people who are just lucky. We've all seen it - they win games of chance, find money on the street, and get entirely random benefits from life. There is no obvious, material cause and effect. Someone with my numbers doesn't have that. Instead, I reap what I sow. That is the other way to understand the number 88 -- it is continuous and loops around on itself. If you write an eight in blue pen, the whole thing is blue. Write it in black and the whole thing is black. Do good things and good things come back to you - do bad and bad things come back. I rather like this idea. If there is any part of the reading in particular that I hope is true, it is that I don't have luck. I can make sure I do good things and live a good life, but I can't make random good things come to me.
The number 16 she spent very little time on. It was not that it wasn't important, but that there wasn't much to explain about it. 16 represents the limelight. Its placement, according to her, showed that I am comfortable in the limelight and while I don't seek it, I may end up in it. She said the numbers made it likely that I could be consulted, publicly, as an expert in my field. She could see a book tour, radio appearance or TV appearance my chosen field. With the number 16 and the other numbers on my chart, she recommended specializing on particular subject. The numbers, she said, showed the kind of intellect and creativity that could make major progress in a particular, narrow, field.
The last number in my destiny was 7. Interestingly enough, 7 represents spirituality and morality. I say that's interesting because it is also a Godly number in the Bible. That was one of the many interesting conceptual overlaps I learned about today. Having the number 7, coming from the number 88, she said, shows just how important doing the right thing is going to be in my life. If I am working to make the world better, bring justice and harmony to the world (ie: fulfill my life purpose) and acting in a moral way then good things will come to me in this life. She said that if I do not do that, with my numbers, the universe will not take care of me. The number seven also indicates that my actions, my life decisions, should help teach people about the spiritual world. In Christianity, this idea is called being Christ-like. Live by example in the hope that others will follow.
The numbers indicated that my purpose on this earth is a fairly important one. At first I thought that was a flattering assessment, but I realized that it is rather scary. In trying to experience the reading fully, one of the things I did was react as though her predictions were definitely true. I allowed myself to muse on what it would mean. When she said my purpose was an important one... I found myself more afraid of failure than excited. Though I didn't tell her that's what I was thinking, she assured me that was part of having an old soul. According to her, I have a soul that has seen both success and failure and that makes the possibility of failure both real and scary.
The last part of her destiny analysis was another moment of insight for me. She said that my numbers showed that I was intensely spiritually protected. That makes sense, if you assume the other parts of her reading were true. If, I really do have a higher purpose and if I do have a life based on karma and goodness, then making sure I live out that good purpose seems important as well. That's assuming her premise is true, but for the purpose of truly experiencing the reading I had to let myself do that. That being said, I have felt, in my life, that there were many times God was looking out for me. There have been dark roads I didn't walk down, cars I didn't get into, people I didn't choose to be around. All those decision have been based on an innate feeling that something wasn't right more than a logical reasoning. It was an interesting realization that I had felt "protected" before.
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Next we talked about my soul. I use the term soul in the numerological sense - the central inner part of me that existed before life and persists after death. That part of me is defined by the numbers 11 and 2. There is an interesting interplay with those numbers. The number one represents masculinity and the number 2 represents femininity. She explained that the combination of those numbers shows that my inner person prides herself on strength, hard work, intelligence and insight. But even deeper than that there is a desire to be loved and cared for - a romantic, vulnerable, creative side. The hardest challenge, throughout myself, is balancing these two extremes. Having that blunt, go-get-'em exterior doesn't always lend itself to people knowing I'm a romantic (I am), vulnerable (yup), creative person.
Most relevant to my life is the insight brought by the number 11. She predicted that there had been times in the past and would be times in the future where I could see through someone that others could not. This has been true so far. Its why I'm good at mafia. She also said that the number 11 shows that strength, power and bluntness that I often show on the outside. Someone with a soul number of 11 and an old soul can come across as very intimidating in work and professional settings. Almost to the point of being unapproachable. There will be times, she said, that people do not start a conversation with me and they do not know why. In order to be effective, I need to learn to bring my outward personality to my professional life (more on that a little later).
The number two represents the desires of my soul. She said that my soul, in this life, would not be fulfilled without a meaningful partnership. She didn't say that it had to be romantic, but seemed to hint that. The romantic, feminine, interior that my soul number showed her that my ability to succeed may not be wrapped up in a relationship, but my personal fulfillment relies on being able to be open, vulnerable and loved by those around me.
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She spent the least time on my personality number. This aspect of the person is what she described as the cover to a book. People are always told not to judge a book by its cover, but they totally do anyway. My personality, represented by the number 5, is more social, laid back, goofy and silly in social settings than my true self. The numbers show that I'm likely to surprise people a little while into getting to know them when they see how important my personal goals and values are to me. People will sometimes assume I am more "laid back" or goofy than I truly am.
The key to being effective is finding the right balance. Using that personality more evenly in both social and work settings (still being professional though, of course). Because it is so disarming, it can counteract some of the intimidation that comes from talking to a serious old soul. Additionally, I should let some more of my serious side show in social situations to avoid dropping that information on people out of nowhere.
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The 30+ predictions were numerous and detailed. They were also very reasonable and possible given the other information. The thing that stuck out for me was that she predicted my 30 to be the time I flourish. That alone seems like a vague prediction, but in conjunction with her other predictions, it made a lot of sense. I'm choosing not to write in detail about the 30+ predictions. The reason for this is that I think there is a distinct possibility that they will come true. They are in line with the goals and values that I've held for some time. I don't want to make this entry or any of the experiences this year about proving or disproving some phenomenon, so I'm not leaving the evidence behind to check up on.
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So that was my experience with numerology. I walked away noticing a few things in particular. The first is that there is a lot of overlap with numerology and Christianity. There is a belief in a higher power - God - who controls the fate and destiny of mankind. There is the free will, destiny dichotomy that makes the path people are on their choice. There is a sense of morality and goodness that should be striven for. In Christianity it is thankfulness that Christ died for our sins and giving our heart to him. In numerology there is a belief that the energy of the universe is positively or negatively impacted by what we do. Just as some Christians still sin, many people around the world do things that create negative energy.
Why am I making all these comparisons to Christianity? The short answer is because I'm Christian. I'm Christian and getting my numbers read strengthened that faith and belief. I went, I listened, I allowed her insights and wisdom to have an impact on me. I asked myself the most important question you can ask with an experience like this one - what if she's right? After asking that question I walked away believing that many of her insights could be genuine.
I've always been the type of person to wonder why two doctrines are "in conflict". Truth be told, I don't see a conflict between numerology and Christianity. There are numbers and patterns in the Bible that are said to indicate certain things and God is pretty darn smart. It seems conceivable to me that numbers are akin to computer code. If you boil down Windows to its most basic form, its all zeros and ones. What if the code that creates our destiny can be derived by numbers?
I would recommend that anyone seeking spiritual guidance make the choice to have their numbers read. I'm not saying everybody should go and believe whatever they're told. What I am saying is that it can be a deeply enlightening experience even if you walk away not believing a word you were told. I, however, feel more connected to God after going and I learned long ago not to ignore signs from above. There was one thing she said that all my numbers pointed to -- that this year, from my 25th birthday to my 26th birthday, would be utterly, totally and completely life-changing. She said that without being told I was doing this experiment. She knew only one thing -- that Kristen Louise DCamp, who was born at 12:42PM on January 7th, 1985 wanted her numbers read.
Today was deeply enlightening and very tiring. Tomorrow will be a lighter activity, but, thanks to today, with a higher sense of purpose.
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PS: I have always believed in signs. I believed before I went for my reading today that God was blessing this activity. I say that because a series of highly unusual events happened the night before I went bull riding. I mentioned it in the other note. After talking to Jaad about bull riding (I had no idea he knew about it), I went to my parents' house instead of going home. I had intended to go home, but felt a strange urge to go there instead. Once there, they turned on the Jimmy Fallon show, which I've almost never seen them watch. Finally, on the show, Fallon had professional bull-riders as guests and they demonstrated the proper technique. That's an awful lot of coincidences. I choose to believe that I'm finally walking the right direction and all that hot mess is God's version of putting the wind at my back.
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