February 6: Canadian Maple Syrup Day

As a general rule, Justin and I love making fun of Canada.  They're America's super-polite hat.  Also, it is cold there and, umm, they're still kinda hot for the British monarchy.  Also Mounties.  Just saying.  The point is, as Americans, it is our solemn duty and right to mock our kinder northern neighbor.  They make us feel better about ourselves.  When our credit gets downgraded and life isn't kissing our world-super-power booties, we can just tease ourselves a few Canadians and start feeling better about everything.  You know.  Like bullies.

Here's the issue with that.  Canadians are ballers.  As in, mad skills, ass kicking ballers. They're polite because they know what's up.  Remember that polar vortex thing that happened?  Wanna see Canada's reaction?

Yeah.  That's what I thought.

Luckily for us, we were presented with an opportunity to celebrate Canada's clear superiority.  Specifically, their maple syrup superiority.  In honor of the syrup, we re-wrote the Canadian national anthem to celebrate the viscous and delightful treat:

O Canada!
Our home for maple trees!
True syrup love in all thy pancakes please.
On waffle squares you glisten bright
An ample breakfast bite
From far and wide,
O Canada, we pour on food for thee.
God keep our trees glorious and free!
O Canada, maple syrup for me.
O Canada, maple syrup for me.

In addition to honoring this beautiful and meaningful holiday by bastardizing the national anthem of our very understanding and patient northern continent-mates, we also had breakfast for dinner.  YAY!!!  Breakfast for dinner is the most comforting kind of comfort food since comfort became a thing.

IT'S LIKE IF PILLOWS WERE FOOD

We also did a syrup taste test between the two American "syrups" and the Canadian maple syrup my parents got us for Christmas (because Michigan is basically South Canada).  There was a clear winner, obvs.  But here's the interesting thing - the Canadian ACTUALLY MAPLE syrup had no scent to it at all.  I had expected a somewhat stronger scent from the real deal.  So, you know, what the shit, Canada?

We steeled ourselves for disappointment.  The two American syrups had strong, patriotic, American scents to them.  Indeed it was the sugary musk of freedom!  Then the actual taste test began.  Also, we used shot glasses because we're classy.

We used our Chumlee glass for Mrs. Butterworth's.  Obvs.

Here's the thing (you knew there'd be a twist - there's always a twist), the American syrups taste like thick sugar drink.  The smell hits your nose, but no taste hits your tongue.  They are the biggest tease EVER.  The Canadian syrup, much like the Canadian people, is not concerned with puffing up its metaphorical chest to make a point.  Oh no - true Canadian Maple Syrup walks softly and carries a big stick.  Much like Teddy Roosevelt who is, let's not kid ourselves, the best American of all time.  HA.  Brought it back to the USofA.

Seriously though, the Canadian maple syrup had SO MUCH flavor.  It was amazing.  There is this slight spicy bite to it - not heat - like a kick of savory TO THE FACE.  It doesn't need smell to make its point - it is the real deal.

We love food holidays.  Between taste tests and feasts, food days feel like a vacation from the holidays themselves.  They are chill and easy to celebrate AND SO DELICIOUS.  But our advice is this - don't wait for the next one to come around.  Once you go Canadian...... you'll politely decline American syrup and then apologize for the inconvenience.