There are few things scarier for a microwave chef, such as myself, than a potluck. Sometimes I've taken adventures in cooking and attempted to, as they say, bring the flavor. That was back when I was cooking at University Lutheran Chapel as an undergrad. After a few years, I realized it actually is possible to get out of practice with cooking. I assume, today, I would be relegated to bringing something store brought, easy to prepare and nonessential.
Hey guys, I brought dessert!
Adding to the whole "haven't cooked anything besides reheated pizza in over a year" thing, this was a vegan potluck. I assume, in some sort of parallel universe, I might have grown up to become a vegan. In this universe, if it wasn't mooing, clucking, baa-ing or, umm, passing oxygenated water through a set of gills, I guess; well, then mister, I'm not interested. Ok, that's not entirely true. Notable exceptions include milk chocolate, cheese popcorn and ice cream. Interestingly enough, none of which are vegan.
In short, I may or may not have been the wrong person to agree to a vegan river potluck. So you have an idea of just how meat-ignorant I am when it comes to food; I once recommended the French onion soup to a vegetarian friend of mine, thinking it would be ok for him to eat. French onion soup, for those who don't know, is the soup whose broth is made by boiling down veal knuckles for several days until their juicy, rich, baby-cow protein infuses the broth.
Mmmm. Delicious protein.
Once I committed to going, I decided the real challenge of the day would be to take my meat-loving behind to a grocery store and find something vegan to make. I settled on a delicious acorn squash recipe my mom once taught me. Then realized it called for butter. On the bright side, I live in Ann Arbor. Home to actual, honest-to-goodness, live vegans. Enough that major grocery stores carry things like soy butter.
Unfortunately for me, I had a little snafu that day in the form of thinking the potluck was at 5pm and not at 2pm. See, I'm from lots of places. I grew up in Connecticut and Indiana, then spent high school in California, in Silicon Valley. The vast majority of my life, I simply haven't lived somewhere where it would be possible for two people in the same city, who I met around the same time, to hold vegan potlucks on the same day, but in different locations and at different times.
As such, I didn't realize I only had twenty minutes to get to the potluck I'd agreed to go to when I bought my acorn squashes and headed for home to start baking them. Luckily for me, Louis called to give me directions and I realized the horrible folly of my ways. Also lucky for me? Justin is like, totally the most understanding guy ever. He immediately stopped, did an awesome, action-movie style 180, cut off a semi being driven by a madman, intent on blowing up New York City and peeled out toward the metropark for our leisurely canoe ride.
On the way, we stopped and bought tortilla chips. Because those are vegan.
Upon arriving at Gallup Park, we immediately made a bad decision. What was that bad decision? Renting a paddle boat in 90 degree weather and trying to use it to keep up with canoes on the Huron River. Or any river, for that matter. Though they did give us a somewhat hilarious Mad Max appearance. After about twenty minutes, we traded the paddle boat in for a canoe and headed upstream.
The Huron River is gorgeous. Simply amazing. Not too fast, not too slow, wide and deep in the middle. Its just a breathtaking river to be out on. As someone who hadn't even seen it before (minus going over bridges a couple times), it was utterly incredible to actually be out on it. I lamented not bringing my bathing suit when I saw half our party go jump in the river and swim alongside the boats for a few minutes. I'm not exaggerating here. Lamented, I tell you!
We found a spot a little ways up the river with a nice bank and some trees to tie the boats to and ate our foods. The chips were as big of a hit as chips usually are. And I learned something new. Did you know that Oreos are vegan? Me neither. And neither did the good people at Oreo, apparently. They're jovially called the "accidentally vegan snack". Good to know. I also got to try a few of the dishes the other folks had prepared. Turns out grape leaves are quite good. Who knew?
So, apparently a vegan river potluck is exactly what it sounds like. Vegans, on a river, having a potluck. I wish more things were that simple and that enjoyable.
Not everyone who jumped in to go swimming was in a bathing suit you know :p Though I agree that it is really just not so comfortable to jump in a river in cloths that dry slowly and nothing to change into.
ReplyDeleteJovial is delightful word, btw.