Date: May 29th, 2010
As promised, this entry is subtitled: Why Tim is Awesome.
As we rolled into the campsite at 4am on the first night, we all had a similar thought. Going canoeing sure seemed nice, but if we have to be awake at 8am for it, well, maybe its not going to happen. God had other plans. I sat bolt upright in the tent at 6:45am and looked over to find Justin already awake and gone. By the time I'd gotten up and stretched my legs, Christine and Tim were already awake. I didn't realize it at the time, but canoeing was one of those things that was just supposed to happen.
Here's the thing about canoeing. I have never, in my life, been so utterly and completely unprepared for how hard something would be. Seriously. Never. Volleyball tournaments? Nothing compared to canoeing. Law school? Canoeing could kick your ass. To put it in perspective, I imagine child birth to be roughly in the same realm of difficulty.
I'm sure there are a lot of seasoned canoers out there wondering what the heck I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is doing it for the first time. We drove to the canoe rental location full of promise and excitement as the chilly air from the night before was still slowly lifting from the world around us. We then proceeded to watch the funniest and least helpful safety video of all time. Don't stand up in the canoe? Who'd have thunk it. By the time we set out, I was properly amused and ready to go.
It is at this point in the entry that I expect some people will be wondering where the "Tim is awesome" thing comes in. Well, its now. See, I've known for a while that Tim is awesome, but that canoe trip made a few things, that I couldn't quite grasp, come into focus. See, Tim is one of those people who, even if you're giving him credit for his accomplishments already, its probably not enough. I had deep respect for the things he'd done and the choices he'd made before the trip, but what I came to appreciate about my friend was how he makes those decisions.
He has so much more of a grasp of the journey than I do. Being around him reminds me that the trip is what its about - not always the destination. See, the canoe trip that he picked out for us was a 6-hour, 9-mile, medium-rapids, super-windy trip down the Two Hearted River to Lake Superior. In the past few weeks, as this project has become routine for me, I've done my things of the day with an eye toward their completion. I used to do them for the experience itself.
Well I'll be good gosh-darned if the experience of that canoe trip will ever leave me. It was alternately the best and worst experience I've had so far, but I'll talk about that a little more later. I mention it only because of what happened in the middle of the trip. I had a moment that I didn't really recognize until later, but as soon as it hit me, I knew I had to share it. We were about 3/4 of the way through the trip and Justin and I, having really never canoed before, had reached our wall. We were ready to give up, sunburnt, fly-bitten and, well, truth be told, we were in full blown tantrum mode.
When we caught up to Tim and Christine we had intended not to say anything about it. But then I tipped the canoe and dumped Justin in the water. The whole "let's be rational and pretend we're not struggling" thing kind of went out the window as he landed waist deep in the river. I explained our frustration to Tim as we stood on the bank of the river, as calmly as I could, and watched as he quietly nodded, taking in as much of the situation as he could.
The was the moment that I finally saw a part of Tim I'd missed in all my years of knowing him. His strength. Don't get me wrong - I knew it was in there. But its different to come face-to-face with your friend's inner strength. As I stood there, sweaty, tired, hot and complaining about an activity he'd personally chosen and set up for us, I saw no selfish emotion in his face. There was not, for even a second, a sense that he was hurt that canoeing was a struggle for us. Instead there was only concern. Tim's strength, I came to realize, lay in his compassion.
We had long talks about our respective jobs on the way up to Tahquamenon Falls. His job requires him to talk to people who are struggling all the time. Some people survive that environment by developing a gruff outer layer and brushing off the suffering that surrounds them. Not Tim. For that brief moment at the side of the river, I saw how he manages himself in his every day life. He doesn't pull that stiff-upper-lip stuff like a lot of people. While the weak close themselves off, Tim's strength comes in opening himself up.
I did not think I could finish that trip. I debated, very strongly, asking the nice couple at the top of the hill for a ride back to the canoe place. In the wake of seeing my friend display such selfless compassion, Justin and I decided to get back in the canoe and press onward. I spent the better part of the next hour scolding myself for saying anything negative about the experience to Tim before it was over. I had started to forget that these things are about the journey. One silent, solemn nod of his head and I was reminded of my own strength as well.
I express great pride in myself for finishing that trip. Only a few weeks back I had to write about how terribly out of shape I was - to the point that it interrupted one of my activities. Finishing the canoe trip was, unquestionably a great accomplishment. But make no mistake; the strength it took to finish that trip was not my own. I was bolstered by the inner strength of my friend. His strength, his compassion, and his selflessness are just a few reasons that Tim is awesome.
Tomorrow's Entry: Why Justin is Awesome.
No comments :
Post a Comment